I am Army bound damn it, I have to be, there is 88 days and as I watch yet another episode of "I Used to be Fat" I keep thinking to myself why doesn't it feel like I am changing/losing, etc.
But in some weird way I guess I am, I am not changing or dropping 9lbs in one week, but hell I couldn't tell you if I was because I seriously don't weigh myself, one because my partner, Jill, thinks I only weigh myself on uneven floor, two, I think the damn thing is broken and it is clearly broken but I don't know if the break affects the scale and third does it matter??
I guess when you get started on a journey so huge you realize you need to adjust and make changes but as I was speaking to the Lexmiester! I noticed she said something that resonated I am going through emotions I haven't dealt with before.
I have never felt with lonliness because I never had to, I had food, I had a phone, I had TV, I had my comfort weight there, not one person could tell me I was by myself because I had 1000 things around me I could have in a heart beat.
The journey is a long one but realizing that food is not the answer to feeling what you are feeling is a good thing.
So as I sit here typing this and realizing that I have one the battle, but the war is still being fought i realize I need to be stronger, I need to take that strength and realize I am not weak to food, I am strong.
I love the family, friends and support I have I just have to put my shoes back on and do it to it!
