So I did it today, half an hour later than I wanted but I did it. And honestly it felt as though everything else was getting in my way, Wii didn't want to work, Netflix said billing info was wrong, had to get my partner's bank card and amongst other things I was about to give up. The thing that kept me going was that darn show, I thought about Gaby and the girl from last night (I can't remember her name) I saw my countdown on the table and just kept trucking through it.
I did Self's "Slim, something" it was actually pretty cool, I realized I really like ballet and hope to find more workouts with that, for some weird reason I think in my head that a ballerina has a beautiful body.
I was doing this workout and I was sweating and struggling, and yes I was in pain but what I kept thinking about was all those trendy clothes I want to fit into and how badly I wanted to be the same size as my family, especially my partner so we can purchase 1 wardrobe, lol!
In addition to completing my first workout I realized I have an addiction to TV and I want to change that by filling in every moment of TV time with working out or something more active then the boob tube. I am going to limit my tv time this week, another thing I can control considering I haven't been able to control anything in my life a.k.a. work, finding a job.
The thing that is in the back of my head is I will never get where I want to go, ever, why do I feel these emotions? I feel like, why try nothing will change, and that has always been my problem.
Ok, well off to make some eggs, and OJ, 1400 calories today! and I will change I just have to get through this phase.
Chitchat later.
-Love, Aut.
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